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Statement 5th June, 2009.

I submitted a debtor's petition for bankruptcy on 8th November, 2006. Halifax County Court in the UK made Bankruptcy Order 362 of 2006. The list of my former creditors can be read on the press release on this site for 9th November 2006.

I was discharged from bankruptcy on the anniversary of the bankruptcy.

The experiences that follow have shown me the obscenity and abusiveness of the Mental Health Act. The Act needlessly destroyed my life and its apologists did nothing to put right the wrong they did me with their misdiagnosis and lies and manipulations and betrayals. The Act gave West Yorkshire Police as commanded from Halifax what they needed to belittle me and treat me as a lying fantasist. It gave incompetent medics what they needed to justify their derision of me. It gave Professor Michael Worboys of CHSTM a get out clause for his incomprehensibe and unexplained behaviour toward me in mid March 2004. Behaviour that makes no sense to me because he had given me every reason to think I was a welcome member of his department. It gave Judith Stansfield of Linnells, now Blake Lapthorn, what she needed to cover up the wrong she did me in mid April 2004.

The damage was total because I was too stupid to realise what a lying fantasizing no account piece of deridable garbage I was viewed as by rather a lot of people, mainly medics and police. It was possible because it never crossed my mind that those professionals I had liked and respected thought I was worthless trash, and it never crossed my mind that they would persist in their abuse. But they did. Hiding at every step of the way behond medics. My only choice if I wanted to continue with my life was to gain medical approval to live the life I had earned and paid for and to do that I had to take drugs I did not need for symptoms I did not have. Chemical lobotomising power-crazed bastards. Mainly, as far as I can see the aim was to cover for a lying incompetent psychiatrist called Dr M. Balraj. And she is lying and incompetent in total and built her so called diagnosis on zero questioning or of my meaning.

There are no bankruptcy restriction orders nor undertakings against me.

The above named destroyed me and my life and are directlty responsible for my bankruptcy along with Dr David Burley and Dr David Adams and Dr Paul Sclare.

On 17th September, 2008 I was acquitted by His Honour Judge Scott in Bradford Crown Court of the crime of harassment without violence of Mrs Kim Smith, a woman I have never met, know nothing of and was never trying to speak with and who answered the phone when I sought wholly legitimately to contact her boss. Her boss ought to be culpable for the manner he treated her and me. Though since I am not in the police family I ended up from 2004 being sh** all over. How they enjoyed their deriding and mocking.

You and the medics and Ms J. Stansfield of what was Linnells and is now Blake Lapthorn disgust me. Though I remain grateful that that firm continues for now as my executors it is my desire to move away from them as soon as decently possible and as soon as I can afford. This firm which I had trusted implicity since 1983 has stood by Ms Stansfield and her words, silence and action toward me on the Tuesday or Wednesday following Easter of 2004. I took her seriously. Her words were utterly and needlessly totally destructive of my life and made me into a laughing stock and object of derision and vulnerable to medical and police abuse, a vulnerability that continues today and which this firm has at no stage made any effort to work with me to resolve, even though via Ms Stansfield they played a significant part in causing the problem. For all I know all could have been a simple misunderstanding and I tried to say exactly that in 2004, not that it did me any good.

I have no idea what it was I said or did that made Ms Stansfield think I had first mentioned national security and led her to think I needed to find a firm of solicitors dealing with national security, criminal law and litigation. Because I was and am in part a journalist I went to the police. I have no idea why she denied her words and turned her back on me totally. I have no idea why the police treated me as a waste of space and with complete disrespect. I can only speculate it was the medics who, on the basis of zero knowledge of me and my life set off on their own fanatasist ride destructive of my life. Not one tiny shred of respect was accorded me and my relationship with her firm by Ms Stansfield and her firm beyond telling me to follow unexplained advice of a serious nature of relevance to others than myself alone. And then they simply ignored me. I have had no access to any sensitive information as a journalist, editor and author other than what was wholly legitimately given to me or made available to me. I tried for years in a respectful way to gain clarity on this subject. Who can afford to be viewed as a lying fantasist? As someone so inacapable of managing their own life that they need locking up? And that action ensured that disaster was inevitable. Especially when you have lived sensibly, with forthought and quite blamelessly in any criminal way or any other seriously wrong way. How I wish I had never returned to where I was born and grew up. It is said one should never go back. In my case how true that was. With respect to myself the medical profession has been so wrong, so intrusive, so deaf, so abusive, so joyously unhelpful that I have to query the underlying motive of events in 2004. Simply asking a question of a doctor ought not to be viewed as symptomatic of mental illness.

And Ms Stansfield enabled the medics to feed their existing idiocy, of which, incidentally, she could have had no knowledge unless some sneak was at work behind my back and without my knowledge and consent and others were slandering me or passing on medical garbage or viewed my return as a professional woman to University to be symptomatic of mental illness. Given that I have affirmed on oath that the words of Ms Stansfield were directly responsible in significant part for the cascade of disasters that led to my bankruptcy very sadly for me I see no sensible other choice than to openly state what I am stating. It would be my pleasure to publish an ameliorating statement with respect to Blake Lapthorn if such can be agreed between me and they and they apologise to me. But this is a firm that is registered with the SRA to march into other solicitors offices and take control in the event of wrong doing and their response to me, ignoring me and hiding behind the mental health act, if that is what they have been doing, is wrong and needless. Mr P Morris a solicitor acting for me had arranged a meeting for me with their senior partner and that meeting was cancelled and not rescheduled and not through my fault. Mr Lloyd-Jones tells me his firm's complaints' procedure had been exhausted. He never allowed it to be opened. I know nothing wrong about this firm nor any of its partners except the way Ms Stansfield and they as a partnership in support of her responded to me in April 2004. Exactly when they were needed in the person of Ms Stansfield they turned their back, lied, betrayed my privacy and their previous professional relationship with me.

In Mid 2006 (not 2005), when I had not admitted to the crime of harassment without violence or any other crime and was still trying to do the right thing (and I still am though I doubt anyone would anymore recognise me as who I was bcause I do not) and still had not realised what a pathetic, manipulable lying no account fanatasist a number of people viewed me as, a police constable in Halifax, West Yorkshire cautioned me for something, which was later claimed to be for harassment of Mrs Smith. It was not. I have committed no crime, but was myself the victim of crime and sustained police and medical derision. A mechanism must be found to prevent prejudice, chauvenism and arrogance being exercised via police cautions and via arrest under the Mental Health Act without explanation. And by not telling you under which Statute they have chosen to abuse and humiliate you for no reason, as they did to me in 2004, you are unable to defend yourself. That is the obscenity of this Act -- if it is used, all a policeman need do is say she could not understand and no one ask any questions. A doctor can use it to cover their own wrong doing. These idiots would seem to be too dim to realise that the consequence is that the person will carry on behaving as they were, but with more distress, never realising they have been labelled as not to be believed and sick when actually they are not and are very much to be believed. Decades destroyed by these manipulating bastards hugging to their status-hungy, co-ercive condescending breasts the knowledge you need to communciate with them what they need to know so that they do not destroy you. They cannot bear the thought that they have to talk with and to you rather than about you behind your back with their "equals". These nasty pieces of work get to decide in their sad little conclaves of exclusion of you whether you live your own life or die of bordom and wasted life in their straightjacket. Well now I swear in a way I would never have in the past done. I say the words I would never have dreamed of saying. They come out of my mouth. That is what your foul abuse and brutalising of my humanity has done to me. You turned me into a separate species for your foul petting and from your desire to manage other human beings on the basis of notes of idiocy and making your sick selves feel better at the expense of another human being your stinking act destroyed. I loath and detest you and ever comma of your foul act.

And as for two years later when I still thought of myself as who and what I am, not what some seriously unpleasant people were wrongly recreating me as, that was when I, who am far from stupid or unable to understand things that are said to me, signed a piece of paper saying I would not do what I had no intention of doing. I wonder how many others have signed pieces of paper as I did and then had their lives blighted in that way? Whilst solicitors allowed that to happen.

I was calling the number for Mrs Smith's boss because I wanted and had a citizen's right and journalist's responsibility to speak to him. Every time I tried to do the right thing I was derided, mocked and belittled or labelled mentally ill. But I had not realised that was the dynamic. I had not realised I was a fly being swatted away. I had done not one thing wrong, had not one wrong intention and I woke up and found myself living in the nightmare world this stinking foul act creates for those it gets its nasty, nasty claws into.

Formerly I was calling CI Ravenscaroft and Insp. Dellow, both in 2004. Silence and being ignored and mocked leads to repetetive communication and communication that can seem unrelated to what you are trying to say. I had been told on the phone in 2004 by someone claiming to be CS McClean and who rang me to deal with a Mr Dellow. I tried. Mr Dellow told me to deal with CI Revenscroft. I tried. It would seem I wasted my money paying my rates. We ended up massively and needlessly at cross purposes. I would guess in hindsight that the blame for this belongs wholly and totally to the interaction of medicine and the CJS.

I was emailing police because I was trying to communicate to them what it was their responsibility wholly and totally to hear and to deal with respectfully of me and courteously and which was and is not the business of the general public, and certainly has not one damn thing to do with the medical profession and their nosy hangers on. I never used to think of medicine in such a way. They (police) had one year earlier in mid 2004 when I was the victim of crime used the Mental Health Act to arrest me. That was an obscene use of this foul and needless Act. It was humiliating and probably was intended to humiliate and belittle. You disgust me - medics and police - for your judgemental, abusive and derisory, needless ignorant destruction of my life with abuse of your status and uniforms.

Never should health - be it mental or physical, and I personally do not understand the division between the two - be used by police to arrest a human being. That is a Nazi State. The Act was used with lies and deception. It put the boot of ignorance in. Do you think it could never happen to me. She must be mentally ill. They arrested her, she must be criminal. A doctor says she is mentally ill. It must be true. Bollocks. It could happen to you, and I am not and was not mentally ill, nor criminal, in act or intent. The police persisted, along with an abusive medical profession, in treating me as a lying piece of amusing garbage. They assumed they knew what I was going to say before I said it. Simple things they could have asked if they thought I was behaving suspisciously or in a way that looked as though it might be criminal, such as, may I ask, what are you doing driving around RAF Menworth Hill and why, simply never got asked. I was doing research. There is a stupid psychiatrist called Q Lodhi who has no respect for his patients, arrogantly orders them to have forced into their body what they say no to (many psychiatrists have this moral disability) - and who thinks an award winning journalist (me), and author, who has worked and works for the international science press (me) and are research students at a major international University (I was) are not allowed to drive around doing research. What, of course, I did not know was the gossip in the background and the prejudiced, ignorant idiocy the medics had come up with which today, five years later, is still blighting and destroying my life.

As an aside let me ask: if Ms Boyle went into hospital voluntarily on Saturday why was a police escort needed? If she was not arrested what the hell were the police doing there? Was she being threatened by someone? How exactly does it help someone who is vulnerable or ill to have police in uniforms turn up at a hotel and escort you.

In my case the medics are worse. Dr David Adams in York thought caging his victim was a hoot. Come on Dr Adams -- what lies had you been fed? Why did you not check with me? Let me guess. The police had arrested me so I must be guilty. Your asshole colleagues had exercised ignorance and prejudice and you thought you would join in and provide a service to medicine by making sure the impertinent cow was caged. CAGED - ASSHOLE.

Look at me and my life. Are you out of your nasty mind? How many of the patients caged by psychiatrist have killed themselves or have spent the rest of their life in self loathing. What do the asses in mental health say? Could it be, well she/he was sick and the suicide proves it.

If Ms Boyle wanted medical attention and it was voluntary why was the Mental Health Act needed? Where do you keep your brains? Or was that my profession screwing up the reporting? Let me guess: she was actually being forced. Or some asshole or asshole medic thought her medical history needed to be known to the world so that the world not Ms Boyle could decide how Ms Boyle lived her life. Or maybe someone was trying to stave of a lawsuit. This Act needs to be abolished.

From mid 2004 to mid 2005 was wasted for me as I tried to find out what was going on. Life wasting grinning, worthless medics thought it would be a hoot I guess to explain nothing and trash a highly competent professi onal woman. I used to respect you. It has taken me a long time to acquire the loathing I now have. Years of wasted impecunious garbage, actually, excluded needlessly from every damn thing I had worked for and I had chosen to do.

Doctors refusing in their choked arrogance and ignorance to explain. If that is how the police and medics treat those they think are mentally ill (and I so am not) they all need to be sacked. But, I repeat, I am not now and never have been mentally ill. Except, possibly, in 1992 when I lived and worked in Washington DC and following a suicide, and unless variations of stress and fear are mental illness, but such was never once broached with me by medics, though on other occasions I had told this to GPs in Hebden Bridge, so I was not keeping anything a secret. Actually, you know, my problem is I have not clue one what mental health as opposed to physical health is. And I was worried in the winter of 2003-2004 about what I was pretty certain was trespass -- that is an illegal access -- into my office and home, and which was making me feel sick. How sick I felt was a product of my psychology, my then circumstances and my biology and my history. On an another occasion when some ass burgled my flat and stole my mother's engagement ring I was upset and annoyed with myself for having left a window open, but I did not feel sick. As for the trespass in 2004 it was not until the end of January 2004 that I was certain enough to go to the police. I had not harassed them in either a colloqiual or a criminal way. And even now I am not 100 per cent sure that what I speculated might be earlier have been trespass actually was. Which was why I did not go to the police until the end of January of 2004. I did not spend months and months telling people about this. I mentioned it to one or two people with whom I felt safe at the time. I did not ask anyone to pass anything to the police.

I thought on balance that the trespass was minor but odd but was worried in case it was not minor. At the back of my mind I had wondered about possible motives related to my profession and again had talked privately about this. But then came the 6th Match 2004, when I felt dreadful, frightened and was experiencing some serious physical symptoms that were not psychotic in the sense that I now understand after years of tyring to figure out without help or explanation from medics what they were talking about when they spoke of altered perception. There was no altered perception. There is none. It is impossible for me to convey how totally cruel, nasty, abusive arrogant and sustainedly derisory Dr Burley, Dr Sclare, Dr Adams, Dr Banymandhub were then and their later colleagues. Whether they were angry with me for asking Dr Balraj to explain herself I do not know. She explained nothing and she simply made up what it suited her to think and did so without checking one damn thing wiith me. The arrogant nastiness of these doctos was in marked contrast to the quiet respect with which I went to each of them initially.

I have since asked people who know what it feels like to take LSD or have a stroke. Those I asked about drugs were a policeman and social workers. It was no damn use talking to medics about symptoms. They did not give a toss or they wanted to turn my consultation into a circus act. No. I went to the police man and social woorker with my questions and for their help of my own accord. None of what they have said makes sense with what I experienced. I am not an hysteric. I do not seek attention. I do not waste police or medical time. Yet I was treated by the medics as a lying no account idiot to be derided and amused by. And the police and medics have wasted my time.

I was also the victim of how police and medics play out peoples' prejudices and ignorance and desire to control lives that do not belong to them. No one owns another person's life.

The Mental Health Act in all its versions is flawed in its rotten heart and is a foul instrument of needless coercion, money making, status building, power seeking, wasting State money and condescension that allows medical cover ups, sustains drug company profits by forcible medication of human beings and allows some junior police officer to decide that an individual will not be told about why they have been arrested. Supine solicitors paid to defend clients let that happen. Except the Mental Health Act conveniently cuts defence solicitors out of the loop. At least it did in my case. And their supine passivity means their client has no bloody clue what is going on. If, of course, the defence solicitor is not doing their best to convince his/her client they are guilty. This would appear to be an English specialty. Whilst medics lie and manipulate. Behind your back, excluding you your privacy is breached and you become a joint investigative object for police, and medics who are playing quasi cops. Quasi was not my thinking and word, but it is totally apt. The trivial becomes exaggerated and the not trivial is overlooked. Whilst you may, unbeknownst to yourself, have been diagnosed with major psychiatric illness you do not have. This dynamic is fed to the trick cycists (psychiatrist) who are primed to see mental illness in incompetent fixed up medical notes. And the medics retrofit their earlier notes to bring them into line with later medical opinion which is based on earlier lies and ignorance never tested. That is what happened to me. It as if some malignant force said she may not live her life as she chooses and which was her birthright and which she earned. She must live it as we think she ought. I still have no clue what was going on and why. I know only that the consequences deprive me of my life, all I had in every way earned and medical care, because I will go nowhere near to the lying manipulative medical incompetents who have set me up to be co-erced and abused according to the obscenity of the Mental Health Act by covering their arrogance by saying I have illness I do not have and who have deprived me of what I had earned with five decades of my life.

Let me be clear. I am cleared of crime. I have a medical report that says the medics were wrong. But it does not go far enough, nor as far as it ought. They have also, the medics - in particular Drs Sclare, Balraj and Burley - to me been lying, abusing and deriding. They need depriving of every single power save their ability to operate and prescribe. I decide whether to let you operate, whether your diagnosis is correct and whether to take what you prescribe. I, not you. Stay the hell out of my life otherwise. You sure showed me what a worthless lying joke you thought I was. How dare you?

Some doctor, who could be stoked up by one's enemies masquerading as friends, or by incompetent medical notes of lies and part truth and wrong inference passed on without your knowledge or consent, or a dimwitted psychiatrist who calls what they do not understand mental illness, can say - she is mentally ill, and that is the end of your privacy and your life as a free and equal member of British Society. You will find a lot of people who do not want to believe or accept a single word you say. You may end up, as I have done, with your life wasted and destroyed. I do not have time to rebuild the five decades that these bastards with their lies and half truthes and dereliction of responsibility destroyed for me.

This Mental Health Act in all its variations is an offence against medicine, humanity, law and research. It is an instrument of coercion for the petty minded and those who wish to impose societal control exclusive of law. It is made for measure for those who think the word fuck is more offensive than assault, drugging, slander, trespass and theft and disingenuous irresponsible solicitors. For those who hear attack when they are not being attacked. And defence solicitors would seem to have lost the plot and not to realise how abusive medics and police can each be working together under the terms of this foul and needless act. In my case medics used it to cover their own wrong doing and to exercise their own prejudice without explanation to me or inclusion of me. The medics and the police caused distress by their manipulation and lies and silence and abuse and derision and gossip and tittle tattle, and then they called that distress mental illness. It was not. It was distress. They think the incompetent notes they read of what a patient is reported by a stupid status- hungry psychiatrist to have said are more accurate than what the patient says they actually said and what the patient/person tells them they meant. Psychiatrists are drunk on their own power. They are deaf and seriously, seriously incompetent and bad at what they do. They swan around trailed by an adoring retinue. And yet they actually have the knowledge and ability to do their job if they would actually stop being choked on their immoral assumption they have the right to force others to take what they say no to.

And if a person's mother or father is thought to have mental illness, then what was the time in which they were diagnosed? It was probably wrong and a product of its time and place.

The medics, police and immoral solicitors were from 2004 behaving in the way I have said above without me realising what they were doing because I was respecting them, assumed they knew what they were doing and did not realise how they were excluding me from what I needed to know of how they were thinking. So always, always get any records or any notes of any kind you are entitled to. You will live inside your life as the decent person you are but defence solicitors would seem to adopt the attitude that if you have been arrested then you must be guilty. Specious arrests, crime against you and immoral agendas of prejudice and cover up do not seem to cross their minds. In my case the medics made an active effort to not hear what would have corrected their erroneous interpretations.

Which meant their wrong assumptions about my behaviour was never corrected. I actually did need their help. I did not get it. I got a wrong label and a destroyed life that is still destroyed and which I tried repeatedly to rescue, and they blocked all my efforts. They saw what they wanted to see and what others were willing for them to see, and did not allow themselves to hear what they are actually being told and needed to know so that they could do their job. They stopped their ears and closed down communication. They are clinging to power they have no right to and are seeking to hold that power by spreading that power, but outside the rule of law.

The Act actually allows many ways in which people are denied solicitors or defence whilst seeming to be a model of access to solicitors. But in a special stream -- one that makes out those labelled as mentally ill to be a separate species. They are not. The medics seem to resent that they and the allegedly mentally ill are equal under and before the law and in humanity and that medics and their staff are no more qualified than anyone else to control life and liberty. I really had no idea that those called mentally ill can be denied the right to say no to medication, but that is exactly the case. I have met this past five years some breathtakingly stupid, lying and manipulative members of the medical and associated professions, people choked on their own arrogance and sense of superiority and ignorance they do not even realise is theirs and which they, unlike many, are unwilling to have enlightenrd and who were not motivated by a desire to heal but by a desire to control and remodel what they had no right to control and did not allow themselves to understand. And I have encountered medics who quite happily used their diagnostic rights (not ability) to silence, and with their ignorance and attitude they actually endanger health, that of the people labelled mentally ill and so denied the right to say "no" you may not put that in my body and alter my brain chemistry. And given my experience of the past five years I would guess that nearly every psychiatric diagnosis made is a pile of garbage.

And the conflation of medicine with prison under the Mental Health Act is totally screwy and irrational.

Those sent to prison first need to figure out whether they really are guilty of what they have been found guilty of and then figure out how that came about and how they put matters right for themselves and others without making matters worse for others. Those who have a mental illness they know they have and who separately and in addition are imprisoned for crime they know they have committed have a different set of problems to resolve. But what of those imprisoned simply because some medical ass clings to outmoded views? Does the Act exist because there are medics certain the mentally ill ought not to procreate?

Beware of the lies that you will need these drugs for only a few years. It is very possisble you are being chemically imprisoned. Someone else used that phrase to me, but actually I recognised it immediately because over my life I have met a handful of these chemically imprisoned people. If one were to take a bell curve of normality then I would sit in the middle. But because I reported the abnormal I was blamed for that abnormality. You might be depressed and drugs really, really might help you. Your brain chemistry might swing from state to state, and again drugs might help you. You might hear physical voices or see physical things that are not there outside yourself, or seen at the same time as you by other people. In which case I doubt drugs will help. You might be having an internal psychological dialogue with yourself that enables you to try to make sense of things but please do not tell anyone in the psychiatric profession if that is the case. You might find yourself awash in clogging chemicals or with electricity being swished through your brain. Instead in your inner dialogue see what it feels like if you make all the participants in the psychological dialogue say I. If you do not recognise all of the "Is" then maybe your aural circuitry is being triggered by something external to yourself and outside usual human hearing. Or are you running a movie comprised of disjointed memory fragments and what has dislodged those?

You might also only be afraid and it might suit those who disagree with you to stoke up the idea that you are psychotic. And, medically speaking, it is a mindless and useless term. It is also possible some ass will tell you you are being drugged for depression when that is not what they are giving you.

So this bankruptcy I am experiencing - and they do not go away -- is a foul slur on my character and life put their because this loathsome Act exists. Bankruptcy was nowhere on the horizon at the beginning of 2004. It would not exist had not asses used this act and lied and deceived, and as far as I can tell because of a prejudiced idiot in March. Bankrupt is bankrupt and means you have nothing. It is not a magic bullet that takes your troubles away. You still owe your creditors. It is just that interest on the debt stops accumulating and that you gain the space to find a way to get yourself back on a financial track that allows you to stop being bankrupt. And if you go for annulment, which one does not have to do, then you are also no longer a former bankrupt. At least that is what the law allows, but medics and police who trash your life and employability to protect incompetent, criminal immoral liars who are motivated by a desire to say, surely anyone would have thought what we thought and not - whoops, we have made a mistake - let us say sorry and make redress, can undermine that.

For three years I tried to find non public, inexpensive ways of regaining my life and the fact that all my efforts were blocked says some assumption of guilt about something must have been made very early on in 2004.

If the GMC is a regulatory body it does a lousy job by excluding the patient and dealing only with notes and the doctor. Instead of putting the doctor on trial it could investigate inclusive of the patient. If the doctor has been criminal then there are police and the GMC is irrelevant -- if the police would stop kow-towing to medical might and shunting to the medics anything they cannot be bothered to deal with. If the doctor is clinically incompetent, as would seem to be the case with the entire British psychiatric profession, then after the investigation the GMC can start its proceedings and the doctor would then have also what they need for their defence.

The bankruptcy exists because of crime against me over the winter of 2003 - 2004, which may or may not have been minor, but probably was minor, medical misdiagnosis, medical incompetence, medical lies and abuse, legal incompetence by a solicitor (Ms Stansfield and all those defence solicitors who start with an assumption of guilt and have no concept of testing the quality of evidence) and CHSTM, University of Manchester. But if it had not been for events from March 2004 and the words of Ms Stansfield I would still have my life.

It was in March 2004, then, that the medics started to put the boot of their own ignorance in. And put on bigger and bigger boot of abuse every time they were challenged, and made every effort they could not to explain and open exchange. That ignorance was enabled by the arrogance that the Mental Health Act inculcates in its medical practitioners and in police. I gave up once a psychologist got involved and blocked the choices made by my GP if I did not do re referrals what he, the psycholgist, said rather than my GP.

Most of the causative events of the bankruptcy, which I did not experience until November 2006, took place in 2004 and were made certain in 2005 by not being corrected by those who did the wrong and made the police think I was a liar and a fantasist and who blocked my efforts for clarity and resolution. 2006 was lost trying to fight what could not be staved off. 2007 and 2008 were years of abusive wasted garbage. Abusive of me. I am sick to death of stonewalling and lies and made up false records of garbage to cover the power base of seriously stupid people with power they ought not to have.

And use of the Mental Health Act is a very effective way of stopping all investigation and denying defence and of covering your wrong doing and your incompetence -- well it is in Halifax and the Calder Valley in the UK, as I have discovered. This is fascism.

The official receiver is fully apprised of my situation and of my actual competence.

The bankruptcy exists also because of abuse of me by police commanded from Halifax in West Yorkshire on 20th June 2004 who falsely and needlessly arrested me as I walked home safely and sedately at the side of the road, making it impossible for me to have taken seriously my concern that I was a victim of crime and because of abuse afterwards by using their powers and uniforms to deride and belittle me, and who used the Mental Health Act to arrest me without telling me what they were arresting me for and when I was the victim of crime. I know that one drug test the next day was negative but I do not know exactly what was tested for.

The crime, if crime there was, was not necessarily immediately before the events that led me to think there was crime. I do not every make uncontrolled spontaneous physical attacks on people. And I never, ever have made an uncontrolled spontaneous attack or any physical attack of any kind on anyone. Ever. But the events of 20th June 2004 very conveniently meant I was in no fit state to explain to the MP I had arranged to see in London the next day the things that the police had not let me tell them. I did see the MP -- in Portcullis House in Westminster, and I did try to include my own MP, but events of the previous night scuppered my efforts. And she, Ms McCafferty, had simply ignored me when I had earlier called her office. I guess to her constituency office I was also a source of amusement. Unless of course they jumped up and own on the backwater view that the mentally ill are nuts to be placated. Well that is a pile of crap. Even if I were a nut. I feel as if I have driven into a small town in rural Alabama in the 1950s.

The police did treat me as a victim of crime at first when I first contacted them at the end of January 2004 about something else (I do not know what is and is not connected, but the foul Mental Health Act and medical stupidity and prejudice and their dimwitted, deeply stupid and arrogant approach to mental health makes inquiry well nigh impossible) but of minor crime - which it might have been - but in light of the words I have affirmed on two of the three versions of my debtor's petition for bankruptcy the police simply ignored me. They then lied in their records of mid 2004 and lied to me and subsequently blocked with derision and stonewalling my efforts at redress. The medics and associated professions were worse.

The University of Manchester was lousy.

Without money one cannot fight this.

The police were helped by medical staff betraying my privacy without any consent from me, medics who seem to think they own the lives of those for whom they are doctors if they have labelled the person mentally ill. You do not. But solicitors who have never heard of the concept of innocent until proven guilty or who have forgotten that it exists and who kiss the feet of medics actually passively let this happen. The solicitors were, perhaps, covering for Ms J Stansfield, formerly of Linnells in Oxford, now Blake Lapthorn. I don't know. They were too busy assuming I was guilty.

Ms Stansfield's unexplained advice fed me to incompetent medics who had already come up with lies and idiocy on the basis of scarce any interaction and through breaches of patient confidentiality, a rush to judgement and what I call the terrifying syndrome of "crossing the road by committee" and who, because of Ms Stansfield's advice and then her lack of support and explanation to me, were able to reassure themselves they were right. This was possible because I took her seriously, which gave medics what tbey needed to interpret as mental illness me having asked to be taken to hospital.

Why did you tell me a D-Notice would apply Insp. Dellow? I was working on no news story related to anything military. Though I have done. I knew of no clear and present danger. Was that to make me look even crazier than Ms Stansfield had already made me look in mid April 2004? She simply did not allow herself to be questioned by me about her advise to me nor think (nor seem to think?) that her advice might have had consequences that were wrong and devastating. The medics screwed up. And so did she. I hope it is only that they screwed up.

Somehow when I was the victim of crime and behaving quite rationally for the words said to me by Ms Stansfield and by professor Michael Worboys (CHSTM) but being laughed at by police these people managed to recreate me in their mind as the criminal and mentally ill with a psychotic illness. I am not and was not, and I do not have and never have had such an illness. This I swear to and will swear to on oath. Like a fool I kept waiting for them and Ms Stansfield and others to come to their senses and tell me what they were talking about. They did not. I was acquitted of the crime of harassment without violence at Bradford Crown Court, but on appeal and not until another judge got his revenge for a crime I had not committed. And the Crown Court judge owed me an apology on behalf of the district judge, which he did not make. Be very clear: at no stage have I been harrassing anyone, not criminally and not in a way that could be remotely proveable in a civil Court, and WYP based in Halifax, York and Aberdeen have some very, very serious questions to answer, and as far as I am concerned they have libelled me, damaged me, allowed me to be the victim of crime and were aided in their libel of me by a defence solicitor who in 2005 told me one thing and a Court another. And that screwed up my willingness to actually get a Court involved. Nor have I been communicating maliciously. The behaviour of Mr Haddock and his words to me left me thinking he was being paid when he was not, and I will not have him and his staff take out that on me. How dare you lie to me and tell the Court another thing then ignore my efforts for clarity? How dare you ignore what I tried to tell you or were you, Mr Haddock, working on quiet whispers from the WYP "in bed" with second rate manipulating incompetent, deeply uncaring medics? Do you realise that these bastards who have zero respect for patient confidentiality can create mimicking symptoms with their drugs? Do you realise they are not above feeding into family lore - not medicine, lore - to create the very thing they need to back their second rate idiocy and to cover their backs. Such as these have no business practicing medicine. And if that was not what they were doing, oh medics, then why the lies, manipulation and secrecy?

I do not know whether I can treat the caution that ought not to exist as libel, but without money how do I pay for civil litigation? And the police deliberately did not allow themselves to hear what it was their responsibility to hear. The number of efforts I made to contact the police were in direct proportion to the importance of the underlying issue that in the circumstances I needed and had a duty to communicate to them. They were not helping to protect society. They were dissing me. That is no way for a police force to operate in any situation. They might as well have pinned medals on those who lied to me and about me and who did me damage.

For a minor, non-violent crime when I had no other conviction and others not I were in the wrong, and I am now acquitted of what he convicted me of, a District Judge (Mr JG Bennett) sent me to prison for the maximum time he could (and the loathsome facilities -- clean, spacious, good food, an exercise room, but still loathsome places of imprisonment -- of Kemple View and Arbury Court, and they are places of imprisonment primarily -- not hospitals),thus feeding me to medics and their hangers on with the mindset of rapists who think it is right to physically assault people, force them to the ground and inject them against their will with powerful drugs that they do not need (David Hargreaves, C. Wilson and Q Lodhi) and when they are no threat to themselves or others. There is the danger here of introducing corporal punishment in the guise of medicine, and that is not law or justice but vigilantism.

Partnership in Care Ltd., a private company, owns the two facilities mentioned above. Q lodhi was a locum there. C.Wilson was on staff, as far as I know. Both forensic psychiatrists. As is David Hargreaves. All three are, in my experience, beyond incompetent and fantasists.

Now was the judge kidding himself that because he (District Judge JG Bennett) signed a hospital warrant he was not sending me to prison? Well then he is deluded. He had convicted me of crime - wrongly, who is everyone protecting - it is not me and not society - and as far as I can tell it is the Mental Health Act that again allowed the wrong doing against me to be covered and repackaged as me doing wrong. I was not. The judge was signing an order saying where I would be imprisoned. Where the judge chose to send me was manipulated by a terrifyingly incompetent psychiatrist - David Hargreaves - who had on the basis of zero knowledge of me decided I had paranoid schizophrenia. I do not and have not. I am probably one of the "sanest" and most level headed and clear eyed people you are likely to meet. There is indeed a report by another psychiatrist saying I do not have schizophrenia and I seem to recall he did not think I was paranoid either, but it is no more based on medical insight than that of any of the other medics.

The assault on me under cover of law took place when I was no harm to myself or anyone else. That is crime, and if this country does not treat those who did the crime as alleged criminals then it is as bad as they are and has created a lawless country.

But who do I report this to, and have the medics and their hangers on created lies to make themselves impregnable?

Had they already destroyed me and my credibility by mid March 2004 and unbeknownst to me? Whose agenda were you fulfilling when you chose to destroy my life? I was lying quietly on my bed in 2008 in May when the medical thugs burst in. I think the law in this country is vindictive and flacid. People screaming to apply asbos when thugs in the pay of the State can unlawfully and criminally attack someone in the name of the law and medicine.

In annoyance and privately I could say in passing that I would like the "bastards" stupid enough to keep damaging the door and foyer of the block of flats where I live to be locked up. I could, but actually have not and do not think it. In my mind it is the qualified medics I think of as bastards not the total idiot who took that costly and damaging action -- who ought to pay to put the error right and send a grovelling apology to the whole block of flats and the flats' owners. But then others messed up the efforts of the owning company to put matters right. If I were screaming publicly for them to be cautioned I would want cast iron proof that the person who put a hand through the wall of the foyer in my block of flats or whoever later undid the repair was seen doing this by sober adults - not cameras, which can lie - and that the person did not have a reason of surpassing public importance for the action taken, or was not driven out of his or her mind by unlawfully given drugs or lawfully taken drugs with a bad side effect, or fear. And if the person who did the original damage or undermined efforts to put the damage right had the deliberate intent to drive down the value of the flats then they have moved into grown-up, punishable, serious crime.

And these medical liars and gossipers who destroyed my life and everything of value and worth and decency and goodness I had created for myself at that time -- these loathsome betrayers of privacy, spilling whatever the hell they want to anyone they want without one's knowledge and consent, why did you think I was a liar and a fanatsist? Why did you decide to destroy my life and me and make my life not worth living? And having done that why did you cling to your lies and and abuse?

These betrayers of privacy in 2004 and everything else meant that Michael Worboys, a full professor at CHSTM, who had given me every reason to think I was accepted and valued in his department, backing applications to sundry funding bodies (and, yes, I had uncertainties about how to react and behave in different circumstances), was able to siphon me into a medical jurisdiction in 2004 and exclude me without reason or explanation from his department, having allowed me to be accused of something in March 2004 -- and he never told me what -- but denied me the right to defend myself. I had done nothing wrong. Nothing criminal, no moral turpitude, nothing dangerous or stupid. The police in Halifax treated me like the criminal when I was the victim and blocked my efforts to speak to their seniors. On the two occasions I did speak to a senior officer I was either derided or told I had been investigated. Incompetent intimidation. Were they thinking to curry favour with people they thought were terribly important -- unlike me the nasty little journalis t, author and editor and M.Phil/Ph.D student? So here I am five years later -- bankrupt because of these things (Case 362 of 2006) when there should have no bankruptcy because at every step of my financial life I knew my health, my age, competence, my earning ability and how to change that and I knew what I was doing and why. The actions of others in 2004 wrested my control of my life from me and so destroyed it. And they all denied me defence. Well this story is not for sale, so do not slaver, and though I cannot escape the fact I am a journalist, that is and was no longer the be all and end all of my professional life.

And, yes, a judge destroyed 2008 until another one acquitted me. And 2007 was wasted by more than a year of waiting for trial. Mr Bennett handed out the maximum sentence in 2008 for a crime I did not commit. Months of loathsome fear in the sh** hole he sent me to. Desperately wondering how I would pay the bills, trying to justify my WTC in difficult circumstances for a journalist, and make ends meet in impossible circumstances. Had I not been deemed mentally ill, and I am not, that would have been for a period not exceeding six months. But the alternate option of parliament is application of Secion 37 of the Mental Health Act. The Act and section are viscious pieces of undereducated stupidity. The barrister, Mr Kenneth Green, who told me I had effectively been given an indefinate sentence did so without compassion or assurance that he would seek not to let that happen. What he actually did I do not know, but what he said to me felt to me like kicking a dog when it is down. He was telling the truth. And mental health tribunals are simply another way for power-crazed medics and their hangers on to feel self important.

Given, however, that I am not now and have never had a mental illness other than extreme grief follwing a suicide there was no need for a mental health tribunal. And there was not one. What the hell has this country become - a medicocracy? There is never a need for a mental health tribunal. If someone with mental illness commits crime it is not because they are mentally ill.

Five years wasted (2004 to 2009) for crime or wrong doing by others, all of wasted nothingness and trashed employability in which my memories are of being imprisoned by medical staff (luckily in mid 2004 I did not know of the sick obscene practice of forcing things into the body of those who said no. I saw the ect photos and threats on those. That was part of the reason why I walked out of the facility run by the incompetent ass, Sclare.

So then in 2008 I was assaulted by medical staff. I had earlier been derided by police and medics and Ms Stansfield, lied to by medics, accused and denied defence and abused by the State and CHSTM (University of Manchester) and having had every single thing in my life I had worked toward destroyed in total. It took a long, long time for it to sink in what they had all needessly done to me in 2004. I will not allow bastard medics and their sycophantic legal hangers telling people they are guilty when they are supposed to be defence solicitors and doing so to cover their wrong doing and incompetence by taking over my life again. I live in my life and my head and in my body and I damn well have not now and have never had any chronic mental illness, nor was I having an episode of psychotic mental illness in 2004 or at any time afterwards. Get a bit above yourself, be a victim of crime, have someone speak against you and these bastards under the terms of the mental health act have the power, but perhaps not the authority, to take you out of society and the running for work. They negated my birth and have turned my life into what currently is impecunious wasted garbage. They trashed the investment in my life and education. They -- Stansfiled, Worboys, the medics and police -- in seven months destroyed a life.

It took me nearly five decades to build what I had and was accomplishing, which comprised so much more than the M.Phil to Ph.D transition I was making. It took Ms Stansfield, police and medics in the Calder Valley, Aberdeen and York and Professor Worboys of CHSTM, University of Manchester and Drs Sclare and Adams, Burley and Balraj et al seven months in 2004 to destroy me and eveything for me - past, present and future. They have negated my birth and they have negated the reason I was born. They did it knowing I would have no easy redress, or, possibly, ever any redress. They shunted me into the stinking claws of the foul Mental Health Act and asshole grinning medics and their hangers on who do not give a toss about the so-called patients just as long as they can play with their live human pets in their human zoo. Adams (David - York), Sclare (Paul - Aberdeen) and those in Calderdale. Captives and captors. And these loathsome places exist also outside the CJS, as I found out in Scotland. At least in my case in 2008 I had been found guilty of crime -- wrongly, as is now established -- but I was supposed to have committed a crime. But not people in other places. I think what happens is that if the police cannot justify an arrest and there is any chance of sustaining an arrest under the mental health act they simply use that to cover their wrong doing. And so they destroyed me and my life. Why -- because I was a victim of crime and I sought their help in 2004. And because they assumed I was exaggerating and wasting their time.

I tried very, very hard to get redress in normal legal ways that would have taken nothing from them. From all of those named. All they wanted to do wa hide behind the obscenity of the Mental Health Act.

They used silence, derision and entrapment and the lies of silence and abuse of privacy with worthless privacy-abusing medics to drive me to the despair I expressed. But the ones who are actually to blame. Who are stupid and wreng and who casually destroyed my life in their stupid ignorance are the medical profession. And Ms Satnsfield of Linnells now Blake Lapthorn made sure they had all the ammunition they needed.

It is terrifying that someone like Paul Sclare -- who is an incompetent and lazy clinician who gains his medical authority from Statute not medicine, that is what he did in my case -- and who dreams up diagnoses on the basis of nothing at all, untested by confidential exchange with his patient - should be involved in a clinical trial. And yet he is, or he was if the internet can be believed. I made the calls as a journalist but they were ignored. If he is involved in a clinical trial his human subjects have no real choice in practice and reality because of the foul obscene Mental Health Act.

People brought to him (as I was) without benefit of solicitor -- are they in his trial? Does this remind you of any other State in history? It sure as hell reminds me of every fascist State in the history of the World. Are you all asleep or do you simply not want to believe that you are living in a country with such a foul underbelly? You are. I have twice been a jury forwoman and still I did not know of this foul Act and its intermingling with the CJS.

What might or could have happened? When I asked to be taken to hospital on 6.3.04 someone could have done a physical test. Before then I had not been to A and E since I broke an ankle bone -- well a bone of some kind in my foot. When I asked the police on 20.6.04 to do a blood test they could have done one. Either I was hysterical with grief and loss and fear or I was drugged, but I was not criminal and not mentally ill, and even if I were mentally ill that should not give uniformed police the right to arrest one without explanation then to lie on records that one could not understand them. It means that the accusation of mental ill health prevents investigation of alleged crime. And crime induced fear is real and obliterating. This MHAct is all about seeking to control. It is not about medicine. And when I am really ill or need exploratory surgery will you then have the decency to treat me or will you seek to inflict petty pain or damage using your knowledge. You really have killed the massive, massive respect I had for you as a profession.

When I went to the police and said I had had the conversation I had with Ms Stansfield the police could have asked me if there was any reason or anything they needed to know given that conversation. There was. I tried to tell them. Did they have the unmitigated cheek to assume I was being criminal?

Let me spell this out: Ms Stansfield has lied by word, act, lack of act and silence. She has disgraced her licence to practice law. She is directly and significantly responsible for the destruction of my life and my bankruptcy. She has been backed without investigation inclusive of me by the firm that employed her - Linnells now Blake Lapthorn. They are wrong, and though I am grateful that they are still executors of my will they have made what should have been simple to correct given their knowledge and expertise into a nightmare, and that feels to me punitive of me. It is also possibly deeply unfair to their former colleague, Ms Stansfield.

Ms Stansfield could have told the truth or met with me under the aegis of her friends and colleagues and not lied and denied what she said. I would then still have had a life. The police could have asked me about medical issues if they thought them relevant. They could have treated medical views with massive scepticism. Aberdeen or York Police who I went to when WYP proved useless could have done the same. The doctor who thought I had a psychosis could have said to me and no one else whether she thought that was drug induced or natural, how it manifested itself, how and why it had suddenly happened and lasted a few hours and stopped. Did she have a cosy chat with the cops? How bloody dare you you worthless medical ass***es? Without my knowledge and consent? You see by doing that you tell the police what you think without ever having checked with the patient whether what you think is a symptom is or is not a symptom. She told me nothing and her notes of having explained are total lies and a total disgrace. But I would not allow myself to believe that. If she thought I ought not to be driving she should have said. She did not. I had no reason to think I ought not. Having a car that has been playing up does not mean one is psychotic. Do you want to see the bills, talk with the mechanic who drove the car and experienced exactly the same thing that I did as the car stuttered with some kind of electrical fault.

Prior to Dr Balraj on April 1st saying without explanation of why that she thought medication (not what kind) would help I had no change in perception of what I saw or experienced. Since the world physically looked exactly the same to me as it has done since I was born (see CV) and that had never been other than what others I knew saw physically I had no reason to not drive. That presumably, normal perception, is why none of what she said made any sense. And I and not the medics really am the authority on this. See what I have written in manifesto suggestions. That is where one can see the faulty, inferential reasoning that the medics might have been reaching for. Not one damn thing I experienced fits even vaguely with mental illness.

Ms Stansfield could have explained her advise and the letter she sent me the day after she spoke with me in mid April 2004 on her firm's letter heading. She explained nothing and discussed nothing. I could count on the fingers of one hand my calls to her over six months to try to get an explanation from her. Maybe three or four? And then I gave up and wrote to her senior partner after I had received out of the blue a letter from him toward the end of that year and whose response to me was to ignore me and my request for "bridge building". I first did business with his firm in 1983. Until 2004 in quite a few minor capacities they have acted for me since, both when I lived and worked in London and when I lived and worked in Washington DC.

Dr Balraj who is a liar and arrogant could have asked if there were physical symptoms. She did not. Nor did she seek clarification about the symptoms I tried to tell her. But I now realise that if she had all she would have been doing was seeking confirmation of her pre- conceived ideas. She could have said to me this is the basis of my thinking, and then I could have corrected her understanding of what I had told her and thus her diagnosis before she made a pratt of herself, and she has. Dr David Burley could have explained to me (not anyone else, because that leads to Chinese whispers and the original error becomes compounded) and discussed with me all the consultants' notes I had collected. He could have told me what his diagnosis was and why. He did not, and he was wrong, but he nearly gave me a criminal record by behaving in that manner. He took from me needlessly what I needed to do my work. The timing of when, without explanation, the DVLA (and I rang and asked them what they were doing and why and they would not answer) asked for my driving licence, and I am damn sure it was not for medical reasons no matter what was said, (reasons never told to me by the lying sh** Dr Paul Sclare or the arrogant, self righteous bastard Dr David Burley) meant that my final efforts to stave off the financial disaster these worthless sh**ts had brought down on me were totally destroyed. I could no longer look at and make efforts to buy the properties I wanted and needed and had located and had viewed and could have paid for outright, nor think about and explore and travel to the places I needed to so that I could get out of what was meant to be temporary rented accommodation. By the time I was driving again it was too late financially to buy anything outright. Were these bastards seeking to cover their clinical incomptence? Which worthless piece of garbage chose to interpret my return to University a mental illness? Which worthless piece of lying garbage chose to view my report of crime against myself as mental illness?

So let me repeat: I have not now and have never had a mental illness. The DVLA returned my driving licence to me without me needing to see another doctor of any kind on the subject of mental health. That was correct. They had earlier sent me paperwork saying I might drive if my licence was not recalled for medical reasons. It was not. I have sent a copy of this current and extant driving licence to District Judge JG Bennett, and did so before the trial. The medics lied and screwed up and sought to cover up their screw up and deny their screw up and there was no clerical error by the DVLA. This is not minor stuff. How many others have they done this to? Are there more people wrongly imprisoned here in the UK in psychiatric units than are similarly wrongly imprisoned in Iraq?

And it is totally terrifying that the medical profession in this country is as stupid, viscious, criminal, ignorant, gullible and as arrogant as it is. Quasi cops. Were these bastards simply trying to control what they had no right to control? Be very afraid of the power we have as a State given to the likes of Sclare and Burley and Balraj under cover of the Mental Health Act. They are not fit to wield that power. Dr Burley's behaviour and that of Dr Sclare and all the other privacy-abusing, lying, tittle tattling bastards lost me thousands of pounds and cost the State thousands of pounds and destroyed my life. It destroyed my peace of mind and sense of safety in my own country. I asked Dr Burley to explain his thinking and medical notes, and he said no. He could have said the same to me that he said to Insp. Ian Dellow. He could have not gossiped about me without my consent with the lying bastards in his profession and with police and damaged every aspect of my privacy and he could have used his brain and not kow-towed to moronic psychiatrists inculcated with their own arrogance and the tatute of the Mental Health Act. These psychiatrists are now seeking to share their power in order to keep it. Do not let these arrogant bastards deceive parliament again.

See past this current crisis with expenses. When I am paid expenses in my professional circumstances they become part of my taxable income and a tax deduction. What is the situation with parliament?

Insp. Dellow could have treated me with respect and not in the deeply derisory way he did, nor with the extreme disrespect and actual psychological cruelty for my humanity that he did. The solicitor in 2004 could have turned up at the police station and said, why have you arrested my client. Ms Burchill did not. The solicitor I had trusted for years (decades - Ms Stansfield of what was Linnells and is now Blake Lapthorn) did not have to hang up as she did on the solicitor who did not turn up at the police station and who called her in mid 2004. The Police could have told me why they were arresting me and then I could have defended myself. They did not. They simply lied under cover of the Mental Health Act and abused their local knowledge of my family to get at me. It is impossible for me to convey my disgust for all of the named above and the foul Mental Health Act of societal coercion and abuse. The damage that wrong diagnosis has done to me and my life is considerable. And I would like to know if it was malicious and deliberate nastiness. It would never have crossed my mind to ask suich a question had it not been for the manner in which the abusive doctors named above treated me as a non human piece of garbage unable to understand English.

One does not need a scalpel to lobotomisee someone. It can be done with chemicals and electricity, and if the bastards get hold of the wrong end of the stick as they have done with me and may have done with other family members then god help you, always supposing you have such a belief system.

In 2004 I was thinking of applying to be a magistrate, had just received a written invite to again be a volunteer with youth in Calderdale where I had done some mentoring of teenagers for a couple of years. I was working out where to live, was moving from M.Phil to Ph.D, had successfuly gradually moved away from journalism (and now in the worst recession in decades must try to reverse at least in part that monumental effort and do so in impossible circumstances when time and age are no longer on my side). I had made no false allegations of non existent crime. I had made no accusation of anyone. I was afraid because I am quite certain that some bastard had crept around my bedroom and moved furniture such that a door that could not physically be closed because it was blocked by furniture then could be closed and therefore someone must have had the means to get in whenever the bastard wanted to, and with the fear caused by the words of Ms Stansfield and other things, not least the way I was being fed back to myself as someone and something I was and am not. I have lived in terror of the medics after 28.6.04. They have taken away much of the trust I had in life and in the future. They destroyed my employability and destroyed totally my rock solid plans to recoup my investment in my employability from 2002 to 2004. They did this not because I was or am ill. I had no idea what had made me so ill for the short time that put me in hospital (it no longer matters), had no idea what Dr Balraj was talking about because she did not tell me. But the time off for the first four months of 2005 with "stress" that was real - totally and completely real. Watching the investment of a life time destroyed. Professor Michael Worboys (CHSTM) could have told me what it was that had been said to him to make him change his attitude on 16 March 2004. I still have no idea. As far as I am concerned he stole my money, hid behind lying idiot medics and took from me the one and only thing that could have helped me get throught the nightmare that medics and Ms Stansfield and police were inflicting on me. Professor Worboy's change of attitude was before I told him anything even vaguely related to the medical or before my communication skills with him deteriorated. Which was sometime after he told me the security forces were already on my case and continued to refuse to tell me what on earth had been said to him about me that gave him cause for concern.

Mr Lloyd-Jones could have kept the appointments made with him that he had agreed to. These people could all have treated me as what I am, a basically decent and honest person and professional woman and quite astonishingly mentally healthy. I have come to have only total and complete disrespect for the Mental Health Act.

I am not arguing for turning people onto the street who are mentally ill if they want and need to be in hospital (and doctors ought to be able to recommend not order a place in a good hospital or care facility), but unless they are still serving a prison sentence they ought not as grown men and women to have to beg for leave to go out. Nor be put on a register of the mentally ill, or formerly mentally ill or allegedly mentally ill or former convicts. Such lists are rubbish, and those longing to control their fellow human beings with those lists are very likely to find their lives similarly circumscribed. Not by me. I have and will make no false accusation such as those made against me and which I was denied the right to defend myself against. And I have no interest in what list some idiot puts you on. But I am making allegations that are serious and trying to do so in a way that gives redress.

If the worthless, lying, second rate medics and their sycophantic hangers on have recorded that I have mental illness, then I do not. Well I know they have -- without my consent. And even though the view is challenged. I found out just how little medical privacy this State gives those it thinks are ill in mid 2008. The medics can say it as much as they want, but thay cannot make it true. And that is why they refuse to say this is the specific fact that makes me think this, because if they were to give specifics then they would find themselves trounced and laughed out of Court. No, rather they hide behind obfuscating jargon designed to sound grand and cover up the specific basis of their thinking. I think they do this so that when they are questioned it will be in a forum where their victim is silenced, and so they will be able to spin their opinion however they want.

I do not and never have had serious chronic mental illness. Perhaps they think all single, middle-aged women who go back to Unuiversity are mentally ill. I am quite clear in my own mind that they are power-crazed, status hungry, lying, immoral, criminal sh==s clinging to the obscene power they have stolen via lies and prejudice and the Mental Health Act, and are blinded by the totally inappropiate power it gives to them. Power to take over the lives of their equals and fellow human beings. How dare you? But I learned that actually they do not see those they label mentally ill as equals. Am I tarring all with the same brush -- wrongly? If I am I will be pleased to publish your views, corrections and opinion and to do so without comment of my own. And let me ask you a question oh so-called medics: have you heard of PTSD? Do you know how that manifests itself? No, but you sure as hell cause it with your lies and abuse and manipulation and deprivation of rights within and under the the Mental Health Act.

And in the past five years I have been reduced to screaming despair at exactly the right people, and not with those who I was falsely accused of having harrassed and who I do not know from adam and was trying very hard not to talk to. I would think a lawyer would tell you you have a good case against your employers who put you in the "firing" line and made a mockery of me. Not because I am mentally ill but because the above - most especially ignorant, arrogant, judgmental and deeply unpleasant medics - took every other means of expressing myself away from me. You bastards took my life. You thieving bastards stole my life, the one that belonged to me. Even being imprisoned for crime does not steal one's life. Not even when the imprisonment is based on a wrong conviction. But being turned into a seperate species does.

And if you want to be really scared consider this: there was at the end of 2004 when I last visited the States a question on the US immigration form that asks if you have a communicable mental illness. There is no such thing. No mental illness is communicable. The British State is using the thinking of a fascist State to force medication down the throats of those who say no, and the American State is controlling immigration and travel with reference to illness that does not exist. How exactly does the American State think that mental illness is infectious? Has that question been removed? Do the Centers for Disease Control in Atlanta, Geogia keep a record of infectious mental illness? Is it reported in Morbidity and Mortality Weekly?

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